"'A life of sane and happy usefulness' is what we are promised as the result of working the Twelve Steps." - The Tools of Recovery, p. 6
"'Who would want that?' That was my reaction to reading this line for the first time. . . . I want a slim body and plenty of money, not service to others." - Voices of Recovery, p. 366
As Voices of Recovery says in today's post, we don't usually start off thinking about a spiritual solution to our problem. We think of compulsive overeating as a physical problem, and we want a relief for the physical symptom. But I know that having gained and lost the same 40-90 pounds over and over again over the last ten years that it isn't just physical. Because while I'm happy to be skinnier, the same problems that drive me to binge eat are still there. The fear and the insecurity don't melt away with the pounds, and that's what really is important. The weight is a symptom, not a disease.
This time stepping into the doors of OA I think I want the sanity and happy usefulness as much, if not more, than I want the slender body. I want to feel up to doing the things for my family that my mother did for hers. I want to be that woman, not the one who is too selfish or too lazy to do anything and everything her children need. So with gratitude I say: "yes please."
