Lately I've found that God has been talking to me quite regularly. Not in the literal "I hear God's voice and he told me that he likes cats and cheeseburgers" kind of way, but in the more subtle way that I think he's always tried to speak to me. I just didn't know how to listen.
A few months ago, before I'd even started to contemplate sending my son to preschool, the manager at my grocery store noticed I was buying baby food and mentioned how amazing this one local preschool was. I smiled, thanked him, and waited patiently as he wrote down the name for me. I saved the piece of paper but it was out-of-sight-out-of-mind. Last week, I decided it was about time to do something about that preschool issue. Knowing my brother is one to research everything, I asked where he took my niece for preschool. He said not to send my son to that preschool - the other parents around there are pretty awful but they didn't discover that until my niece had already made friends and they didn't want her to be forced to make new friends at a different preschool. So my sister-in-law told me about the same preschool as the manager of the grocery store!
I call the program and ask for more information. I am now scheduled for a Valentine's Day tour of the school at 10am. While looking at the paperwork she sent me, I thought that the school was probably a bit more money than I wanted to spend. After discussion, my husband agreed. But instead of calling to cancel my spot at the tour I decided to check the school out just in case. I didn't know why I wanted to bother - I'd already decided against it - but I listened to my instinct and went.
I didn't just like the school, I loved the school. Hell, I want to be 2 years old to start with their itty bitty preschool program too! I told my husband what I saw and he was as excited as I was. So we got all the paperwork filled out and turned in. It's in God's hands now whether they take my son. If not this year, then maybe next year!
After the tour of the preschool, I was scheduled to moderate a phone meeting for OA. We were holding a Valentine's Day marathon. The topic was the love of others, so after some thought I decided to pass along the Big Book pages my sponsor assigns for dealing with resentment [the condensed chunk is pages 60-62, 66-67, 417 and 552]. I wasn't sure how the meeting went because only four people were sharing. I'd gotten good stuff out of the meeting, but shrugged and decided that having been of service was good enough for me.
I went to get dinner for my husband and I at my usual drive-thru. For whatever reason, they didn't hear me order my husband's food. So I went to another drive-thru that my husband likes [and isn't abstinent for me] to get him food. Had I been listening, I would have broken one of the twenties in my wallet because I didn't have smaller change for my meeting that night! I had two chances to break that twenty, but I didn't take it!
Later that night [after all the submitting of forms and getting other forms to the doctor's office etc. etc. etc.] I went to meet my sponsor in a farther off meeting. While in the car, the songs on the radio were all ones that I didn't particularly care for. So I switched from station to station to station looking for something to listen to. Finally, I thought about the marathon of meetings. Smiling, I called in. The second share after I signed into the phone meeting was from a woman who had attended my earlier meeting. She mentioned in passing how it had been exactly what she needed to hear and she said it was a wonderful meeting. The woman didn't know I was in call, so this was a huge compliment. It made me feel so much better.
I attended meeting, ended up giving $12 because I hadn't gotten change for that $20 earlier [I figure that will be my contribution for the next few phone meetings - they ask you to give double at your next meeting]. After the meeting, I followed my sponsor to our abstinent restaurant to do some step work in the Big Book. On the drive, I kept thinking about what I was going to do for the marathon meeting I was going to be leading on Monday. Our President's Day theme is service. As my sponsor took me through the preface and forwards, she had me write "service" in the margins next to every portion which discussed the work people did to grow the fellowship and carry the message on - pointing out that these people did this to stay sober. I didn't tell her about the prompt, this just was what she wanted me to be getting from those pages. And on the way home, I smiled and thanked God.
So I attended a tour that I didn't otherwise want to go on because of a hunch - and God showed me that this is where I should send my son. Thank you for giving me an open mind, God!
I was concerned that I hadn't done a good job on my meeting, so God nudges me into the phone call in time to hear one of the women in my call share with others how wonderful my meeting had been. Thank you for allowing me to hear that, God!
You tried to remind me to break that $20. I'm sorry I wasn't listening, God.
I asked you for help preparing for a meeting. Thank you for showing me the way through my sponsor, God!
I never used to believe in a Higher Power that cared about what I was doing or what happened to me. The trick was just knowing how to listen!
